Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Can I be done here now?

Ugh... This place really has got me down... work is just an every day disappointment. There's no challenge here. I feel like I'm just wading through garbage. I honestly feel like this whole town and this wanna be promotion are just a big waste of my time and talents.
Nothing is the way it was portrayed to be to me. It's more expensive to live and not worth the extra cost. I didn't get enough of a raise to cover the difference so I lose money every day I am here. I was promised payback on things I paid for up front, I've been here nearly 2 months and still nothing.
This whole situation is garbage and I deserve so much better than this. I'm hoping I'll eventually be able to get my feet back under me and run the Fuck away from this town and so called job promotion as fast as I can.

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Benefits

I complain constantly about this horrible place we moved to. I had started to forget about the one thing that really made me feel good about this move and made it all totally worth it...
None of the skanky little bitches that wanted to Fuck my man are anywhere near enough for me to worry about. None of the slutty whores he cheated on me with will ever pose another threat to our relationship.
I still feel I may never trust him fully, but I feel better with the fact he knows NO ONE around here that I feel could threaten our lives together.
In a small way I've gained back some of the control that he's held over me for way too long.
It finally feels at least that one thing is more balanced than it has been this entire time...

On another note: thinking about all the negative things that have tainted our relationship is breaking my heart all over again...

Sunday, January 17, 2016

The move

So I was offered a promotion if I moved and we decided to go for it.
So far this has been a horrible decision.
The people here are scum. They are disgusting and low.
I've never felt so over classed around so many people.
I've never felt like I deserved to be around better people.
The piss-water raise they gave me to come here and the lower taxes (different state) still don't make up the difference in cost of living.
I feel like I was lied to. Here's this great opportunity for your career but in actuality you'll feel as though you've been tossed in a mud puddle.
You'll feel and see the filth around you but you have to stay and try to continue being the clean, freshwater person you are...
This better be the promised stepping stone, the one to get me closer to an promising career... I'm just afraid this place will be much more toxic to me than any place I've lived so far. 
I already am -so- ready to run on...