Losing his love

So 3 weeks after our first "I love you"s we had an argument. We still exchange another "I love you" then the next day I ask him if he "was already getting tired of me?" "Do you not want to be around me anymore" and he answers "I don't know yet"
I've been falling to pieces and just want to sit down and talk with him but I want to give him space first. Maybe I've been too needy and demanding of his time...
I want more than anything for this to work... As one of my closest friends said to me "I've never seen you love anyone the way you love him"
It's rough when I don't chat with him all the time like usual. I just want to hear his voice, feel his arms around me, feel like he wants to be with me as much as I want to be with him.
At the same time I'm trying to strengthen myself for what may come to be. I know I'll make it through anything, stronger than before, if I only keep my head up.
I need to focus on me. It's time for that. I need me. I have too much going for me, with or without him.
I'm amazing, if he fails to see that and leaves me than it's his loss, and a huge loss at that. I'm what he needs, whether he sees it now or not.
Ugh, here goes another rainy day. I'm going to go try and put some sunshine in it!!!

Tonight

It happened! The subject of love came up... I don't know how it happened but it did... we are officially on "I love you" terms... I'm positive that he said it more...
I'm so scared but excited! I'm in love, and he loves me too...

What I'm feeling currently

The word Love is a tough one. I tend to run from it because it tends to be long-term. It can also lead to heartache, often times not mine... I don't throw it around, at least I try not to...
Eric, I love you.
It's easy to write it, even easy to tell my friends about it... but I just can't bring myself to say it to his face. I'm ready, I just don't believe that he is.
I'll wait, continue to read his signs. When I feel that he's on the verge of saying it, I'll say it first. That is what he'll want.
He always wants me to make the first move on EVERYTHING. Sometimes it drives me nuts, but knowing him, I will gladly do it.
I know this sounds selfish but I hope that time is soon. My feelings are so pent up that it's wearing me down.
I've been scared of marriage and love for a long time now, I'm ready to move on and enjoy it!

Hold strong, hold true, don't let your feelings get the best of you!
You'll know when the time is right and in that moment you'll take it!
Confidence in yourself and patience with your situation.
Go, SJ, go! You're a strong, smart, lovely and all around amazing lady! Be yourself and things will work out! Trust your judgement! When you do, you succeed, when you don't, you're miserable!
Good luck to you, I have confidence that it will all work out!

Just to start

Sometimes it's hard to organize my thoughts. I'm hoping that writing down what I'm feeling might help me figure out what I want to do with my life.
Right now my biggest confusion in life is my boyfriend Eric & his son Liam. They have become such a big part of my life over the last couple of months. I can't imagine my future without them. this also scares me after my prior relationship. I was with one man for 5 years. After we broke up I was getting ready to move out of the state and start over. then Eric came along and I don't even know what I'm going to do now.
Eric & I dated eight and a half years ago. I took his virginity. Many years later facebook says that we should be friends. it only suggested this a few months after my ex and I broke up. I avoided it at first but then my curiosity got the best of me. I added him and he didn't even hesitate to accept.
it was an immediate connection. we started flirting right away and we made plans for him and his son to come over for dinner. it was a great night when they did too: food, laughter, drinks. Hell they even stayed the night; Eric in my bed (no, we didn't have sex) & Liam on the couch.
I was instantly obsessed. I couldn't imagine what I was thinking dating this man so many years ago and letting him slip through my fingers. we started making plans to see each other more. after our third time being around each other I asked him if I could just make him mine...
I was pretty drunk and when he said yes I asked him if he was sure cuz I would make it "Facebook official". He said he didn't care so I added it to Facebook. He went home, I went to bed. (We hadn't even slept together yet!)
(Now this has become a funny story because he even mentioned in front of his friends that he thought I would retract first thing in the morning since I had been drunk. I of course was embarrassed that I asked him so soon but he said yes and I wanted to see if it would work.)
the connection was instant, it just felt so right. I found out after the fact that he hadn't had a girlfriend in 3 years, by choice. He wanted something serious and was waiting for someone he felt he could be that way with. This made me nervous. His friends were ecstatic and one even welcomed me to the "family."
It was nice discovering that I knew several of his friends and that one of his closest friends, Justin, was an old, good friend of mine that I'd lost connection with.
We've been dating for over 2 months now and things just keep getting more serious...
Sometimes I feel like I'm bothering him, but he generally trounces those feelings. I tell him that I care a lot and want him to be mine forever but his response is always "we'll see."
I know he wants this to be long-lasting, we've talked about it. On 2 separate occasions he's mentioned marriage. The first time, we were with Justin and Justin has said something about his wife, when he went to take his shot at pool Eric says, "I hope we're not like that when we're married"... long conversation there that I'll skip :-) the second time we were at his place just talking when he starts a conversation with "well when we're married"... I didn't mention it that time but it stuck in my mind.
The one other conversion we had about marriage was with his son. At Eric's place and we're all laughing and talking when out of nowhere Liam asks "are you going to get married?" (Laughter stops, dead silence.) After a minute of him staring at us Eric replies "maybe" so I ask "do you want us to get married?" He says "yes" and I continue "why?", his answer being "because I want you to always be here" (heart wrencher!) Eric continues by asking "when do you think we should" Liam-"ummm, Wednesday" LOL. It was adorable!
Liam had mentioned several times he wants me to stay around and I think it makes this tough on Eric.
Eric wants to go slowly but he may feel a little rushed between Liam and myself...

Yeah, writing this down helps... I wasn't even thinking about how much pressure that man is under. As much as my feelings for him are bursting, I guess I need to back off a little...